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Month 2

The second month was much like the first. Every couple of weeks I had a serious couple of days where my brain and body retaliated because I was depriving it of the drugs that I used to take including marijuana and the benzodiazepines.

I became aware after a blood test that my liver enzymes were high and that the Depakote was inflaming my liver. I set an appointment with my family doctor and recommended he titrate me off of the Depakote and consider prescribing Gabapentin as an alternative.

As I titrated off the Depakote, my liver enzymes went down but my withdrawal symptoms became more pronounced and their arrival was less predictable. I would have withdrawal waves more frequently and some more severe. Some days I would feel alright while others I felt like I would lose control and end up in the hospital or the psych ward.

The feeling of comfort I had at being home and away from treatment had left me. I was completely self-absorbed and self-centered. All I could think about was my symptoms and going to a meeting to keep my mind occupied. On some days, I went to as many as four meetings of A.A. I still had not found a local sponsor though I was getting close.

At this time, my wife was very supportive of my going to meetings and saw that I was committed to the discharge plan I had developed while in treatment. I was doing almost everything I had committed to but was not getting enough exercise and was not eating healthy.

I remember what a great feeling it was to get my 60 day chip. It was September 29th. My wife joined me when I got my chip. I can’t express how much it meant to me to have her there, sharing this milestone of my recovery with me, in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

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